I was going to post this next week, but I’ll just throw it on here earlier. Lots of things about life, choices, good and bad decisions. There is also a section about INTJ, ESFP, and ENFP.
I am very excited for May because I get to install my new body kit on my car.🫡
Booby signing out!
Edit April 21, 2026: I added back a section I previously removed after shortening other sections.😤
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Artemis II
Is so cool Lol.
I watched it launch and splash down live on YouTube. The pictures they took around the Moon were quite a beauty. Imagine people actually working together and doing more cool stuff like this instead of killing each other.😵💫
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Canada banning social media for kids under 16
I think it’s not a bad idea. But parents have a huge responsibility on this one. It reminds me of the recent Meta and Google lawsuit that the companies lost to. I mean sure, these platforms were designed to be addicting because they make money off you from swiping their content (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, etc.). And there should be a warning about it or security measures. But at the same time, suing them is like suing Old Dutch for making me fat because I can’t stop buying and binge eating their potato chips.😵💫
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Favorite Writer and Tragedy
Samuel Beckett is probably my favorite. His works has some of the most interesting existential philosophical themes in it. They’re also quite tragic. I met someone who told me they never understood why people romanticize tragedy. It’s actually interesting because it has been popular since the ancient Greeks. I’m definitely not the only person who can see beauty in tragedy. If I was the only one, then it wouldn’t be so popular. Nowadays, you often see it in TV shows, movies, and books. Heck, you hear it all the time in music and love songs. I also wrote about how tragedy exists in love (from #33).
I think the main reason is because tragedy reveals an idealistic dimension to our realities of life, where something “could have been”. Idealism is realized and human desire is animated by this very loss of something through the experience of tragedy—like the lover who leaves you, the parent who dies, or some devastating event that happens. I think without human’s ability to idealize and perfect, there wouldn’t be master pieces of poetry, philosophy, or music; and humanity, as Nietzsche might say, would be a mistake.
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Lending Money
Some girl who used to work at the coffee shop I regular at asked me to borrow $150. Apparently, her car broke down while she is between jobs and low on funds. She called me so many times and bombed my inbox lol. So I decided to help her out. I rarely lend people money. But when I do, I consider it a gift. If they pay me back, then great. If not then it’s whatever. I won’t beg or ask for it back. But few days later, she asked to borrow another $130 where if she doesn’t fix her car in time, she might lose her new job.
I kind of feel bad, but I declined to give her more money. I anticipated she would ask me again because someone will have to pay for the car repairs (I paid for the tow and mechanic inspection fee). I thought she would ask her parents or close friends lol. But honestly, we’re not close and I know she is very flaky. I likely won’t get my money back. But she is welcome to prove me wrong. I mean, she stopped responding ever since I said no. Maybe I should’ve let her car get impounded. LMAO I’m kidding.🤣 It would cost her even more.
If you think about it, in order for her to be this desperate, her credit card and line of credit might be maxed out. Or maybe she doesn’t want to be in debt. If she worked on her finances since early 20s, then she should have more credit to spend than she needs (pretty sure she is in her 30s). It would cover all the repair costs for her car with it. But I actually don’t know what’s going on. It’s also none of my business. I just hope it worked out at the end.
I would’ve helped if I didn’t have a big vet bill to pay. I also have to pay GST (Government Sales Tax) and it’s tax season. I’m self employed, so I don’t just pay federal and provincial tax, I also have to pay the entirety of my CPP (Canadian Pension Plan; when you are employed, your employer pays for half of it, but when you’re self-employed, you are both employer and employee). It’s quite a bit of money. April and May is when I am most broke.
I’m very disciplined with my budget and spending. I try to keep as little money as possible in my chequing account and dump them into my savings which are invested in the market. I’m definitely not going to liquidate any of it for her LOL; not for $130.😅 Like if she was my lover (no thanks looolll), then that’s a different story. But this scenario is why having an emergency fund is so important. I’m not trying to make excuses to not help her more. I could’ve given her the extra $130 if I wanted. But I think I did all I could for someone who I am not close to.
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“Give me some of your unpopular opinions with spice.”
-American Football is boring. It’s just a bunch of dudes hugging each other for 10 seconds then stands around for 15 minutes doing nothing.
-Big muscles dudes and ladies are not attractive. They look goofy, clumsy, with abnormally big clumps of meat stuck around their entire body—almost like a deformed zombie LOL. Being fit and toned is one thing, but being overly big and muscular is another. I have no idea why America is so obssessed with it. There are far better ways to work on your insecurities. Fun fact: there is a medical term for it called “muscle dysmorphia” or “bigrexia” (the opposite of anorexia). This is likely not an unpopular opinion.
-I haven’t in the last 10+ years of my life, referred women as “chicks”. I think it sounds stupid because I just think of chicken LOL.
-Sydney Sweeney is not hot.
-Socialism is better than capitalism.😏
-Dating apps ruined dating by commodifying love. But this is not an unpopular opinion. Many studies agree.
-Beauty is actually one of the most useless things in this world. Yet, we can’t live without it.
-This is also not an unpopular opinion, but the social media influencer is the most useless job on the planet. What’s worse are the people with main character syndromes where they make “friends” and follow each other; but unfollows you the next day so they appear more popular. Trying to be an influencer is one thing, but this is peak loser behaviour Lol.
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Things that nobody prepared you for as you get older
You tend to get a lot more responsibilities with age. You also care far less about what other people think of you. And you have much less tolerance for bullshit and social games that some people likes to play.
Another thing that no one prepared you for as you age is the experience of death. You will eventually start to see the people who you once knew or are close to die. Whether they be your grandparents, aunts and uncles, or even your pet companions. And let me tell you, when it hits, that stuff stays with you forever, even if you think you are over it. Grief stays. You just learn how to live with it as time goes by. Then eventually, you also start seeing your parents get old who might begin to need help. They might even talk to you about it, the future, or maybe inheritance. It’s all part of life and growing up.
A lot of people don’t realize what they have until they lose it. So don’t take anything for granted. Even things as simple as having a roof over your head, food, water, and having real friends. There are many people out there who are starving, getting their homes destroyed, and their countries are at war. We should be grateful. And no matter how bad you think you have it, there is someone who has it worse.
If you do everything right when you’re young, you will also outgrow many people who you are friends with. But it doesn’t mean you stop being friends with them. It just means you see things differently where you might become less close. And that’s okay.
Be careful who you take advice from because some people gives terrible advice. Remember that when you take advice, your desire is the Other person’s desires. Know when to follow your heart and mind, and don’t be afraid to think differently, make mistakes, and stand out, even if everyone thinks you’re wrong. Independent thinking is very rare these days because everyone wants to fit in.
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“I used to go clubbing a lot and it got boring fast”
I actually enjoy many variations of house and techno music. I’m a fan of Hot Since 82, Adriatique, Solomun, and a few others like Eli & Fur. But I’m too old to go clubbing or raves. It’s too degenerate for my age LOL. I was also never much of a party person.
But most people grows out of it. I’ve met a few ravers and clubbers who all quit by the time they were in their mid-late 20s. Before I moved to Canada, I grew up with a cousin in Hong Kong who was a big party girl in her 20s. She used to party so much that she had constant vocal cord issues from all the alcohol. I haven’t spoke to her in ages, but she is now married and settled down living in Germany with her first child. I’m happy for her. But I don’t mean to judge. It’s part of some people’s youth. As people gets older, they will understand why all the 30+ year olds enjoys going to bed early. I’m usually in bed by 10:30 PM. Life and work can be very tiring. There are people who depends on me.
Another one that some people might grow out of is befriending people that adds nothing to your life. I feel like befriending me can be hard these days. I’m busy with work, my own hobbies and intellectual interests. I don’t need to let random people I meet into my life. Less people means less complexity and less drama.👍 I’m big on “quality over quantity”. I’m also someone who needs down time after socializing. If I like you romantically, then I will make time. You will know it when you are my priority.
I feel like it was much easier to make friends when I was younger than when I am older. I think it’s because I had less responsibilities and commitments. Nowadays, I only talk to maybe 5-10 people regularly in real life. I’ve known a good chunk of my friends my entire life. My oldest friend who I still talk to I’ve known for over 25 years. I’m a loyal friend. But the problem is I also don’t go out enough to meet new people LOL. I sometimes wish I could run into a chill extrovert who just adopts me.🤣
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Making Choices in Life
To build off of the sections above, life is about making choices. It was like when I spoke about the gift of death and the notion of choice (link). Sometimes, it is the uncomfortable and risky choices, and the uncertain choices that are far more worth it than the safe ones. Yet people will often choose the easy route rather than the difficult one. Other times, you make bad choices and live with its consequences. I’ve made many bad choices. But also great risky ones that I’ll never regret making. When you’re young, you often make more bad choices than good ones. Some bad choices are more devastating than others. But that is also how we learn.
It’s also like choosing who we love—even when it is an unconscious one; even if said choice is an unhealthy relationship, where one may still choose to be in it. Yet, the person we choose also matters. Like no offense to Renee, but I will always remember her choosing to date some random playboy over me. Am I butt hurt about her choice? A little. But I also wanted her to be happy and I’ve kept this promise till this day. Do I think she made a bad choice? Yes, a terrible one at that, and she knows it.
I’m not here to add insult to injury, but her choice said something about who she was back then. I mean, her choice was kind of an insult to me LOL. Like seriously? She chose that guy? It’s hard not to judge, but wow. I would be less offended and hurt if she chose a good man. I never told her back then because I didn’t have the heart to. But does her choice say anything about who she is today? I believe people live and learn. And I think Renee is smart enough to realize herself. Consequently, my choice of Renee back then also said a lot about me. I’ve also made many bad choices and mistakes during this time too.
This reminds me of a girl I met in university who did something similar and decided to date some playboy in school over a solid dude who had a stable job, mature, loyal, kind, and attractive. I even told her that she is making a mistake and she stopped talking to me LOL. She regretted it later. I mean it wasn’t rocket science, 90% of the people the guy followed on his socials were half naked girls. There are far more red flags than green flags these days. I have no idea what people are thinking. I don’t think they are. They are just feeling and lusting. But that guy found another girl who has a better brain on her shoulders. Good for him!
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The youngest age anyone should date
There are no proper formulas and it doesn’t matter much as long as it’s not an enormous difference.
For me, the youngest is probably 25-26, which would be around a 10 year age gap (I’m 35). Anyone younger are like children to me—especially below 24. And even at 25, not everyone will qualify because people at that age can still be a mixed bag. Heck, many 30+ are a mixed bag as well. A portion of them are also single moms and dads. There’s nothing wrong with it. I think it comes down to the person. There are people in their 30s and 40s who are still messing around and finding out.
I would say people above 25 has a higher chance of looking for something serious and long term. It’s also around this age where people start becoming more mature and realize they’re done dating for fun (or losers lol). People change a lot in their 20s. This might be why the average age of first divorces are in the early 30s.💀
It also might be why a portion of women likes to date older men. There are lots of studies suggesting that men in their 30s and early 40s are at their prime in dating. Whereas women’s are in their mid 20s and early 30s. It makes sense because men who spent their 20s working on themselves has way more to offer in a relationship than the younger ones by a far margin. Just maturity and emotional stability alone are big enough to sway people’s mind. Also, who doesn’t like my salt and pepper facial hair?🤣
Speaking of girls who are too young for me. I saw Emily the other day (she is 18 lol). She parked her Mini Cooper beside me, came in and immediately complimented on my car Lol. She was really excited to see me for some reason. I asked what she was up to and she told me she is just studying and going to the gym after. So I asked if she goes to the gym nearby. She told me she goes to a women’s gym. I giggled and was like, “I can guess the reason why”.😂 She laughed and told me how she started going to the gym when she was young, and how many men has been hitting on her since she was under age. Yikes lol. Then she showed me a photo of her new motorcycle and her brother wearing a bikini over his hoodie LOL. Very sexy.👌
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The Girlfriend Privilege
I was thinking about this: What special privilege would she get?
She gets to read everything I write on here before anyone else, including work in progress. That’s a big privilege. This includes the hundreds of drafts and unpublished posts. LOL actually nahhhhh, that’s like a wifey level thing. I can’t reveal batman’s secrets that easily. I will only let the girlfriend read some of the things on here. But I will also probably spoil them and take them on vacations. I would love her to death. It’s true.
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“I’m an INTJ who can’t distinguish ESFP and ENFP in real life.”
Keep in mind that a lot of ISTJ and ISFPs are mistyped as INTJ.
Both ESFP and ENFP are very similar on the outside: social butterflies, bubbly, charming, and often have similar type and style of interests. But they use different functions. The ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni; The ENFP: Ne-Fi-Te-Si. Both type uses secondary Fi and holds onto a set of very strong core personal values that are often unshakable. They also both use Te which is a pragmatic function that involves applying concepts and ideas into the concrete world.
In general, the ENFP is a little more intellectually competent than ESFPs. They’re also more random, curious, less grounded, and less engaged with their surroundings than ESFP. Whereas ESFPs lives in the moment who are very good at reading the room and being present. They’re down to earth, quick problem solvers, who usually lives up to their “entertainer” status (they yap a lot). Both types are very social and tends to be popular among different groups of people. Both ESFP and ENFPs are often trusting people until you give them a reason not to.
I noticed they often have distinctive differences on the content of their social media posts. ESFP posts are usually mostly photos of themselves all dressed up, posing, and trying to be hot at some exotic place LOL. Their content tends to have a much stronger aesthetic vibe to them. The ESFPs are often into anything that involves socializing. It may involve night life or any strong sensory dominant interests like traveling, sports, food, fashion, etc. Whereas ENFP’s social media posts will have more variety, where they tend to have more introverted hobbies such as reading, movies, gaming, cooking, etc. They may also enjoy many hobbies that ESFPs would.
The ESFP and INTJ are very different on the outside with near opposing behaviors. But they’re also similar once you get to know the two types. They are not “opposites”, but are more of a mirror inverted type because they use the exact same functions in reverse order (they both belong to the Gamma Quadra group). A developed ESFP can resemble like an INTJ and vice versa. The INTJ will be drawn to how charming Se-Fi is, and the ESFP will be drawn to the intelligence of Ni-Te—traits that they both have, but interchangeably suck at.
In socionics theory, the ESFP and INTJ pairing is known as “duality” and are considered as a perfect romantic match due to how they compliment each other’s weaknesses. In reality, they’re the popular outgoing social butterfly dating the quiet super intellectual. It is one of the classic extrovert/introvert pairings. The ESFP will bring new experiences to the INTJ’s life, while the INTJ will be the anchor and stability for the ESFP who tends to live busy lives. I also noticed many ESFPs struggles with understanding their own feelings because of their weaker Te, which is similar to the INTJ but in reverse with a weaker Fi.
You will see a similar dynamic between the ENFP and INTJ, which are also very different from each other. But the ENFP/INTJ pairing offers complimentary traits that can produce a lot of chemistry. The ENFP is known for being an idea generator who are pros at connecting the dots. Their thinking style is “expansive” where their thought process can spark the INTJ’s Ni-Te, whose thinking style is “intensive”(focus). As a result, this can produce meaningful intellectual conversations between the two. ENFPs are also incredibly self aware. The ENFP and INTJ pairing is famously known as the “Golden Pair” and is one of the most common romantic matches for the INTJ.
At the end, the person matters more than the type. Though both INTJ/ESFP and INTJ/ENFP romantic matches are very rare—even if INTJ/ENFP are common within its group. The same with INFJ/ESFP and INFJ/ENFP. Legend says that INFJs only dates their soul mate, and INTJs only dates the person who is smarter than them which is nobody.🤣
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The Eashel Situation
Last time, I briefly said I will talk about why Eashel had been giving me mixed signals. It might be because she misread some of the things I said in my last post or maybe the previous one.
Few weeks ago, I saw Eashel’s face when I spoke to Emily. She seemed a little jealous.😏 I was ultra careful that day because I knew Eashel was watching me nonstop. I didn’t want her to think I liked Emily more because it’s not true. But I can’t say Eashel tried to do the same. I saw some kid come in the other day to give her something where she was blushing and was like, “I’m sorry I haven’t responded yet”.🥲 Like I said, she can make her own choices. When I said I want her to be happy, I meant it.
I’ll be honest though. The mixed signals she has been giving me bothers me. I apologize if I rant. But she seems insecure about her feelings for me. Do you know why? It’s because she doesn’t talk, but instead, focuses on what I write on here. It’s almost like she prefers the alter-ego Bobby over the real Bobby. She should know this blog is like batman’s identity. We don’t talk about it in real life.😉 I’ve actually been considering deleting this site once and for all.
The moment I figure out Eashel likes me, she backs off and tries to hide it. And you know what? I can see why she feels this way. I said this before, I don’t mean to intrude her emotional space. But at the same time, what’s the big deal? She already owned up to most of it when she kept sneaking glances at me nonstop and trying to get my attention. In fact, she still does it till this day no matter how hard she tries to hide it. The only reason I did nothing at the beginning was because I don’t know if she still has a boyfriend and wants to talk to me. But make no mistake, I did try to talk to her earlier this year at the till. She knows how many times I failed because she just gets someone else to take her place every time lol.
But I could be wrong. Maybe she was just doing Eashel things and she was busy. Maybe she never broke up with her boyfriend (then why this other dude? lol). Or maybe she did break up and even gave me a chance to talk to her. Now that I think about it, she probably intentionally spoke to her coworker about her break up which explains why her coworker kept staring at me while they spoke. But I seriously didn’t hear clearly with the background noise. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh. If this was her plan, she should know the chances of me talking to her right after that was very low if I can’t hear much what they said. I just heard short phrases like “break up”. I was literally guessing lol. I also have hearing loss from work and loud machines.
If she said hi to me tomorrow, things would be different. To be fair, Eashel DID say hi back then—but she had a boyfriend lol; not sure whats so hard about it now. And to be sure, I would initiate if she gave me a chance that wasn’t hidden behind some crazy plan I never expect. Again, I tried talking to her many times.
Sorry if I sound like I’m about to lose my shit. I’m just tired of it. I’m trying to be as nice as possible. I mean sure, it’s my fault I missed the elaborate “chance”, but this was a terrible idea, to be honest.
Right now, if Eashel wants to talk to me, she has to meet me half way. If she expects me to step it up and compete for her with random kids who wants her, yeah it’s never going to happen LOL. Even if I am on the brink of losing her. And it’s not because she is not important to me, she is! I just don’t treat women as objects to be won over. I respect her and her agency to choose. This is the brilliance of being human. And she deserves it. So I’m not competing. I mean I don’t want to sound too confident, but there is no competition in the first place. It will only be her loss if she chooses someone else.🫡 She knows it.
Either way, she can do what she wants. I’ve been focusing on my own things. At this point in my life, I want someone who I am certain of and is serious about me. I value peace and stability. Not uncertainty, chaos, drama, and trouble. I already have enough trouble from other things. I don’t need someone who brings more of it.
So if Eashel understands this and wants to say hi, I will respond in kind and start a conversation with her and even ask her out on our long lost date. Or if she makes it obvious, I will go say hi to her. I won’t mention anything I said on here. If not, then it is what it is. I don’t want to sound like an ass, but I’m not going to be her second choice. There is no turning back for Eashel if she chooses someone else, because I won’t go back to her if she ends up breaking up with whoever she picks. I’m not choosing someone who doesn’t choose me. So she should think wisely because this is where I set my boundaries. And it’s not even unreasonable.
Honestly, I don’t even want to say any of this because it often leads to more fights and arguments. I don’t know how Eashel will respond. But I always try to take a step back. If nobody ever yields in order to understand and compromise, no relationships in this world would work. Not even friendships. And just to be sure, I’m not mad right now. I’m just saying.
At the end, it doesn’t matter what happens between Eashel and I. I want her to live a happy and healthy life. I really do. And if she gives me a chance that is not obscured behind elaborate plans that I might miss, I would be happy to talk to her and make her the luckiest lady in the world.
…
I wasn’t going to add this last paragraph, but some of you probably wonder if I am in love with Eashel. Am I in love with her? I don’t know. I’m almost afraid to even think about it because of how bad I’ve been hurt in the past. But if Lacan is right that love is always mutual, then I will let Eashel hold onto my answer for me.
The letter will always arrive at its destination.💞