Yes I know.
I said there will be a big post coming LOL!! There is and I promise it will be done soon. It is about 75% complete. I’m just tied up with other things in life. This might be my last post of the year as I will try to finish the big post. I may or may not post anything in November and December.😉

Until next time,
Booby

Oct 04, 2026:
“I’m so sorry Bobby.😔
I’ve been reading your blog since 2020 and know quite a bit about Renee and Eashel. Your site is so personal and touching when compared to others I read. I thought your love for Renee was a great example on the type of man you are. I want you to know I can see it even if Eashel can’t.

I’m much older than you and maybe more wise. I’ve had my hay days of meeting many men. My one who got away was like you and I regret it till this day. U are a very beautiful man and one day, a woman will see it.

I know you said you aren’t sure if Eashel reads your blog. What do u really think? What if Eashel is denying her love for you?

Hugs from Finland.”

Thank you for your kind message.🥹 Who knows what will happen in the future? 🙂 And I am sorry about that man who got away.

This reminds me from way back when I said the same thing to Renee where I told her she had very strong feelings for me. She fought back, resisted, and denied my claims. We had a huge argument where I called her a liar for lying to herself because I was pissed off and immature. She even went on to date others. But do you know what happened after? She fell pretty hard for me.🤣🤣 It’s funny thinking back to it.

When I say these things, it’s not about my ego or anything else. I put my personal interests and counter transferences aside. If Eashel thinks, “Bobby just wants to read what he wants to read when he sees me”, then she is wrong.

Listen. Nobody likes to be told how they truly feel or what they’re really thinking. People don’t want to hear the truth because the truth is always shockingly ugly and not what they want to hear. But that is exactly where love lies. Desire takes us far away from truth. And desire always wins over love—as Lacan might say. Maybe this was why Renee had to go date losers who was wrong for her to realize it. But at the end, people needs to discover it themselves (or have enough intelligence to see it). It’s just that in my case with Eashel, I never had the chance to help her make conscious of her love for me. She likely made too much assumptions of Emily and I (if I had to guess). Or maybe that other guy came along and took her away. Our problem stems from the fact we don’t communicate. But her love for me was there from the beginning. In fact, it’s still there today. 🙂 This is an objective view. Not a personal one.

I don’t mean to put Eashel on the spot. There are more examples, but the most obvious was when she “accidentally” said yes after I asked her out back then. She likely even made a bunch of statements to correct her error or justify her answer, “Oh I didn’t know what to say, I had to pretend I couldn’t hear him, it was my job, blah blah blah”. It was actually a Freudian slip. The first part of her answer (the “yes”) was a master signifier which halted her desires (it was love), the latter part of her explanations are her desires speaking which deceives her. I’d imagine she is probably doing the same thing right now where she tries to justify her desires for whoever she is talking to or dating. But that’s on her for missing this critical component of desire and love. It’s also none of my business. Desire is deceptive. Trust me when I say that humans are incredibly good at lying to themselves. Just look at Renee.

It’s funny how I say these things. I have to give it to Eashel for becoming so enigmatic and mysterious lately. I can’t tell if she is avoiding me or not. I cannot read or understand her anymore. It’s strange to say, but she makes me smile when I see how she is living up to everything that I cannot see in her. This my friend, is love (it’s object a). Remember these words because I will talk about it in my next post.😉…..And yes, it’s devoted to her.💘

Do I think she reads my blog? I don’t have an answer. But I have faith that she knows I love her. No one will love her more than I ever will. She knows there is no turning back for her. And whether she reads on here or not is no longer a question that concerns me. At the end, I am happy that she is happy. 🙂

* * *

Love as a Link

“However we formulate love, as imaginary, symbolic, or real, it seems clear that love can be understood as constituting a very important social link or bond that is not easily provided by anything else. As Soler (2003) points out, capitalism has progressively destroyed the many earlier ties we in the West had to places, and has broken up and scattered our previously extended families. Love—not for the Fuhrer or for a leader who establishes links between all those who put him in the place of their ego-ideal—but rather love as a link between the same and the other, between the symbolic and the real, between the phallic One and the Other sex, might be thought of as the foundation for the minimal social link we have left: the bond between two people, that bond being at the core of the smallest social unit, the household reduced to its barest bones, so to speak.

Following Soler here, love is perhaps one of the few forces we still have that can undergrid a social bond that does not exclude the Other as such, the Other sex, and the Other jouissance.

In order for love to serve this purpose, it cannot be the love of fusion, the attempt to make one of two, which is ultimately love for the One with a capital O. Not surprisingly, we find love formulated as a making of one from two in many a text by men, whether by Aristophanes, Cicero, or Abelard. The latter, in the recently rediscovered early love letters between Abelard and Heloise, claims that through their love he and Heloise have become one; she retorts that they are not One, and that their love still has long way to go, seeming to sustain the importance of love between different people.

If love is to forge a link between the One and the Other, it must involve a two that remains two — a two that does not collapse the Other into the One. This is very rare indeed!”

—Bruce Fink, Lacan on Love

Given what someone asked in regards to love transference and people who has a “type” that seeks to unconsciously repeat certain past relationship behaviors. This is a good passage from Bruce Fink who spoke of how love functions as the bare bones of every household, and how love is about difference and not sameness as One. This interpretation reminds me of Alain Badiou’s position when he spoke of how the fundamental ideas of communism already exists in every household at the minimum level where people shared their resources and helped each other.

I think Fink is a great writer on Lacan BTW. This book I quoted from is a very good text about love if anyone is interested. Fink is probably one of the best in terms of pedagogy and interpretation (the other good one is Jacques-Alain Miller who is the son in law of Lacan). I believe Fink studied under Badiou and later became a clinical psychoanalyst. He is pretty well respected and is best known for translating Lacan’s huge essay collection book called, Ecrits (means “writings” in French).

My approach to reading secondary sources, such as commentaries and scholarships on Lacan like Bruce Fink, is to read and study the original texts by Lacan first. This way, your interpretation won’t be as tainted as if you read secondary sources before primary. It’s like learning an advanced piece of piano music. Just as pianists wants to develop their own interpretations of Liszt’s music and how to play them before they listen to how other renown pianists plays it, you want to learn to read Lacan before you read how other people interprets him. It’s a critical procedure if you want to become a unique and original thinker of whatever scholarship you’re into. Interpretation is an art form.

* * *

Favorite Modernist Play

I was never much of a theater guy. But I used to read plays. One that always stuck with me was Waiting For Godot by Samuel Beckett. This is likely one of the most famous plays from 20th century. I always found it funny because it is so meaningless and pointless. It’s pretty much a story about two guys waiting for someone named Godot who never arrives while they talk nonsense. So they sit around doing nothing the entire play—twice, in two different acts. I think Beckett was one of the few writers who understood one of the fundamental strangeness and irony of human existence: there is nothing that needs to be done. We only do things to keep ourselves distracted from this truth.

Yet, in our day and age, we grow up being taught to always be productive, where this existence gets silenced by all the noise in our lives. We always need to go out and do something, socialize, smile, be happy, or do whatever the crowd is doing. But there is always this question of being and existing that lurks in the background that we never think about.

This play reminds me of an art film called The Turin Horse that repeats similar scenes for 3 hours. It was inspired by Nietzsche’s life and also the most boring film I’ve ever watched in my life LOL. I never want to watch it again. Yet, it won the Grand Prize of Jury in the 61st Berlin Film Festival. And that is not without a good reason. It was boring, and that was the point.

* * *

Artificial Intelligence

I think AI will replace all the basic data entry jobs for sure. It will replace many basic office desk jobs and a lot in food services. They got AI robots that can do basic cooking now.

AI might replace travel agents and Real Estate work (Realtors are way overpaid for what they do IMO). The same can be said with the people working in accounting and finance. The people who used to need an entire team to design a software or website now only needs a few people to guide and direct, where AI will write the code for them. There is no need for coders. Anything that has to do with writing and copy-editing are also in for an elimination round against AI. It will also replace and shift a lot of work in the engineering fields as well.

AI might replace a portion of workers in the medical field. Especially those associated in diagnosis which makes up a big part of the job. Though I think they will still be needed for unique and complex cases. AI may downgrade the medical profession in a socio-economical sense. The other day, I saw people developing surgery robots and machines that can do the job of surgeons, but with far more accuracy and steady robot hands.

The jobs that are more immune to AI right now are the trades, education, and other specialized services like childcare. In general, I think AI will make the job market more competitive regardless of what the “data” says. A lot of those studies aren’t accurate IMO. There are lots of ghost job openings that are just sitting there in the market with the listings up, but the companies aren’t hiring anyone. It just sits there to collect resumes and cover letters lol. Not to mention there is also outsourcing and remote work. You can hire someone in a poorer country for much less money to do the same thing as someone in the West.

* * *

“Taking a 1.1G corner in your car is equivalent to the G force you feel when an airplane takes off.”

That is a good comparison.🫡
I rarely take that corner this fast nowadays. There is always traffic and I need to use up both lanes because I apex the corner like a real driver LOL. It’s also dangerous because I can fly off the bridge if something goes wrong. But the Golf Mk8 R has really good AWD system. The new rear Magna torque differential is so good at powering through corners while keeping the car glued to the road. It makes you a better driver than you really are. It’s stupid how much speed you can carry into corners with this car without losing traction. Ripping through the DSG gearbox feels amazing as well, especially after I installed my new AWE touring exhaust.

* * *

I accidentally went to a car meet

Did I write about this last time? LOL.
This was back in July (or August?). But I went out to grab some food in the evening. Then when I got to the place, the parking lot was filled with so many cool cars and people walking around. My car kind of fit right in. I overheard someone say “I’ve always wanted one of these!” to me while I was looking for a parking spot.🥺 There was another really dope Mk7 Golf R there and a heavily modded Ford Focus RS. I believe this was one of the Mercy Auto Club car meets (they’re on IG). They host a lot of these in the summer around Calgary and they’re always huge meets, sometimes with police presence to deter people from doing unhinged things.

* * *

Future Car Mods on the Golf R

My car was in the shop AGAIN for a week. I’ve been getting “Dynamic Cornering Light” errors on random intervals for the past months. After a few trips to the dealer, they finally “think” they figured it out and decided to replace the passenger side headlight under warranty. This year was kind of lame because my car was already in the shop for 5 months earlier this year due to hail damage repair. I’m surprised they only raised my insurance by $50 despite my $15,000 hail damage claim lol.

Next year, I will get new carbon fiber side mirror caps to match my interior (my car is full optioned with carbon fiber trim upgrade). I might upgrade the rear sway bar so I can take corners even faster.😈 I want a new steering wheel as well, but I will hold off on some of these due to warranty. I’m also scared to mess around with the airbag. I’ve been thinking of doing some cool interior modification and decorations like swapping to alcantara on my dash. But I heard it’s a dust magnet.

I will eventually take the car to stage 1+ in 93 fuel which will bring it to 440 hp and 410 lb-ft of torque. The tuner will likely be Unitronic (here is link to dyno).🫡

* * *

The Birthday Party

I went to my friend’s birthday party the other day after work. It was a potluck and I last minute brought some pizza because I didn’t have time to prepare anything Lol. He is a high school friend of mine. Him and his wife recently bought a house together and they invited 30 people to their place. They told me how tight their budget is right now from the mortgage and I understand. Affording a detached house requires dual income these days.

The funniest part was how he turned his developed basement into a night club LOL. There were so many cool lights on the ceiling and everything and people were just dancing. I c0uldn’t help but vibe a little to the groovy tunes. I also picked up glow sticks to show off my rave skills of course. I’m 36, but I still got some party in me.😎

I also sang some Backstreet Boys karaoke with my friend.😂
I had a good time.😁

* * *

The Intellectual Culture

I feel like philosophy gets easier over time as you become familiar with the conversation and topics. And I think this is what “intellectual culture” is about. It is a “culture” in the sense that in order for us to understand what these people are talking about, our knowledge needs to be cultivated, questioned, refined, and reorganized in specific ways. Once you learn it, you will start to see the world very differently. It’s like learning how to taste fine wine where you taste it differently to those who just consumes it as grape juice.

* * *

An Underrated Philosopher

Byung-Chul Han.
This guy knows his stuff. Particularly on Baudrillard, Derrida, and psychoanalysis. I know it when I see it. A sharp critic on contemporary life and culture, he is a low key rock star philosopher. But he should be more well known and celebrated IMO. His works are accessible and readable by everyone. He has a provocative writing and thinking style. He is also a translator for some of Jacques Derrida’s works into English.

* * *

The Ugly Child

You know what’s funny? I honestly never knew people were attracted to me until my mid 20s. Growing up, I always thought I was an ugly child and no one liked me. I remember it was when I got a new haircut and made some changes to my personal style where I started noticing pretty girls doing strange things in front of me, such as blushing, speaking softly, brushing past me, and taking multiple glances. At first I was like, “They probably think I’m ugly and needs to look again just to confirm”.😂 But I also noticed an increase number in compliments from strangers. One day, I told a woman friend who I knew at the time, where she was like, “Bobby are you serious? They think you are cute!”. I was surprised and flattered at the same time. It was hilarious.

I was approached by a few girls during my school years from just walking around campus while I was bored waiting in between classes. I admired their bravery and I always gave them a chance (I gave them my number). I even became friends with one of them where I took her to an art show. She used to read my blog too. Thinking back, their bold approach was something I didn’t appreciate until now. As you get older and life gets busy, you start to appreciate people who are more upfront and don’t waste your time.

I remember this one girl I met at some book club who always spoke to me. She was really flirty and took lots of interest in me who always initiated to talk. I also caught her turning her head and stare at my butt a few times. I was like, “So this is what it feels like” LOL.🤣 It wasn’t until later where I realized she had a boyfriend where I distanced myself from her. It’s not the drama I need in my life. She didn’t mention him once where I nearly asked her out lol. I found out from someone else. I feel bad for her boyfriend. If you’re taken, don’t act like you’re single.

* * *

“This is hypothetical, but would you date Eashel if she is still dating the other guy at the same time?”

No lol. But I don’t even know if they went out rock climbing as friends and with other people, or if it was a date. Eashel should already know I won’t accept her if she chooses someone else then comes back to me. But I’m not surprised this happened. Eashel is so beautiful. She is social and likely has more than one guy trying something on her. If any of them were able to make advances, it was because she let them. Do you know what I love most about her? She is someone who makes everyone she talks to feel heard and appreciated—just like when she spoke to me back then. 🙂 You don’t see it often. It’s a very attentive, thoughtful, and nurturing trait.

I know most will, but I don’t compete for love. I back off when I find out someone else is involved in any way. It was like when I first met Renee who was dating someone. I chose not to interfere, even if Renee gave me a few chances to talk to her. I respected their relationship. I let them do their thing whether they succeeded or failed. They eventually became an official couple (we randomly met again after they broke off). It was either she shut this guy down and talks to me, or the other way around.

I never liked dealing with people who can’t focus on one person. Whenever there is another person involved, it gets chaotic and messy. It’s not something I look for in relationships, ever. A healthy long lasting relationship requires stability and safety—having some third random Joe in the picture is neither safe nor stable. Whereas I’m always decisive about these things, like my love for Eashel. I know what it’s like to date someone only for the person they’re seeing sees someone else at the same time. So I try not to be that guy because it just shows a lack of moral compass and character, in my opinion.

Society makes us think that love is about competition to win someone over the other guys or girls who also wants them. It really isn’t. Love is a choice. Love is not selfish—that’s desire. Love is selfless—like the love your parents have for you, hopefully lol. And whatever or whoever Eashel chooses, I want her to be happy because I love her. I will never in my life, take these words back. But don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I don’t want Eashel. I want her more than anything in this world. I want her to be happy with me. I want to be selfish too. But given current circumstances, there is not much I can do. Like I said last time, I just let her go and give her space. If an opportunity opens, I will talk to her in a heartbeat. I actually tried casually talking to her while she briefly served the till. But they swapped roles again. Then swapped again, and once more again lol. It’s okay.

I also saw her reading a BOOK? Well that’s something new. I’ve never seen her read a book before. I see she took up some Bobby influence huh? She is a smart girl now? JK she had always been a smart girl. 🙂 You know what’s a habit that I started doing? Gently biting my tongue when I’m focused LOL! I call it “The Eashel Effect”.🤣 She does it all the time. And every time I realize I’m biting my tongue at work, I just think about her and smile to myself like an idiot lol.

Nowadays, every time I see Eashel, I always take a final peek at her before I leave. I know there will be a day where it will be the last time that I get to see her.🥲

* * *

Respecting People’s Relationships

As a topic for discussion.
I think the lack of care and respect for other people’s relationships is part of how infidelity happens. For example, if I didn’t care about that book club girl who had a boyfriend, where I went for her simply because I liked her, her boyfriend would be done. Though honestly, he was already done the moment she started flirting with me. Even if I didn’t reciprocate, someone else who doesn’t care will, which is many dudes these days lol. And yes, they did end up breaking up lol. Honestly, I don’t even care how pretty she is at that point. Her actions were appalling. If she can do something like that to him, then she can do the same thing to me.

My future partner will never have to worry about me with other women. I’m very strict on boundaries. I love some people like how I love my tea. This reminds me of when Emily spoke to me some months ago. I knew Eashel was watching me non-stop that one day and seemed jealous. It was actually the last thing I wanted Eashel to feel. It didn’t help that Eashel refused to talk to me so I couldn’t show her that she is much more special than Emily. But it also didn’t help Emily chose to sit with me that day. On other days where I arrive after her, I always chose to not sit next to Emily even if she invited me to lol. It was at that point where I knew Eashel had stole my heart where I wasn’t interested in anyone else. I even wrote about it back then.

Do you guys remember my first random thought post where I spoke of the guy who came up and asked me why I didn’t romantically pursue my friend? That man is a keeper. Men like him are extremely rare. He respected the relationship I had with my friend. Even I admit I liked him a little after he asked me LOL. They’ve been together for over 10 years now. They bought a house together and are engaged.🥳 I wager the reason he asked me was because my friend held him off because of me. He was probably prepared to yield. She should’ve spoke to me about how she felt back then. But I don’t dwell on the past. I’m friends with both of them and I’m genuinely happy for them. 🙂

I remember I told her some years later that his man came and spoke to me about her and she gave a big smile because she knew she scored a gem. She really did!

* * *

Reading List For Major Philosophy Works

People had asked before. I remember I gave another list that were all good intro books.

Here is a list for major works from the top of my head in no particular order. These are all ground breaking works in enlightenment philosophy, metaphysics, atomism, calculus, linguistics, formal logic, phenomenology, psychoanalysis, sociology, existentialism, metaphilosophy, cognitive science, economics, and many more. The books here spans across several centuries. If you think you are smart, then you are about to get humbled really soon Lol. These authors produced some of the major intellectual landmarks of their time. If you are going to learn, you learn from the best.

Phenomenology of Spirit by G.W.F. Hegel
Prolegomena to a Theory of Language by Louis Hjelmslev
Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus by Ludwig Wittgenstein
Philosophical Investigations by by Ludwig Wittgenstein
Syntactic Structures by Noam Chomsky
Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
Monadology by Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz
Meditations of the First Philosophy by Rene Descartes
Ethics by Baruch Spinoza
The Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Candide by Voltaire
The World as Will and Representation by Arthur Schopenhauer
An Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
Two Treatises of Government by John Locke
Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
A Treatise of Human Nature by David Hume
An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding by David Hume
Logical Investigations by Edmund Husserl
Ideas I & II by Edmund Husserl
Totality and Infinity by Emmanuel Levinas
The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith
Capital Vol. 1,2, and 3 by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche
Will to Power by Friedrich Nietzsche
The Gay Science by Friedrich Nietzsche
Being and Time by Martin Heidegger
Being and Event by Alain Badiou
Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre
Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia by Giles Deleuze
A Thousand Plateaus by Giles Deleuze
Difference and Repetition by Giles Deleuze
Ecrits by Jacques Lacan
The Seminars of Jacques Lacan (all 27 seminars)
The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud
Totem and Taboo by Sigmund Freud
Truth and Method by Hans-Georg Gadamer
Discipline and Punish by Michel Foucault
Origins of Geometry by Edmund Husserl
Of Grammatology by Jacques Derrida
Writing and Difference by Jacques Derrida
Voice and Phenomenon by Jacques Derrida
Margins of Philosophy by Jacques Derrida
The Spectres of Marx by Jacques Derrida
Dialectic of Enlightenment by Theodor Adorno
Eros and Civilization by Herbert Marcuse
Escape From Freedom by Erich Fromm
The Theory of Communication Action by Jurgen Habermas
Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt
The Human Condition by Hannah Arendt
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
The Space of Literature by Maurice Blanchot
Either/Or by Soren Kierkegaard
Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard
Works of Love by Soren Kierkegaard
Republic by Plato
The Symposium by Plato
Metaphysics by Aristotle

….No I haven’t read all of them LOL. That’s crazy. Though I’ve read all the books by Derrida, Levinas, Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, and most of Lacan on this list. I’ve read good chunks on Badiou, Husserl, Heidegger, Sartre, and Freud. Most of the rest I’ve read a few chapters of here and there. Remember I spent most of my 20s in school (10+ years).

Most of these authors are dead except for Badiou and Chomsky; both who are very old. Habermas, who is a major figure from the Frankfurt School, recently passed away in March 2026. Thank you for your work Jurgen.🙏

* * *

Sept 30, 2026:

I don’t think Eashel wants to talk to me.😭 Maybe she really is dating that rock climber guy lol. I bet that guy reads on here and had been trying to change Eashel’s mind for months. I don’t even want to know. But that kid should go away if he is because it’s none of his business. He should be ashamed. At the end, it’s also Eashel’s choice.

Maybe I’m over reacting, jumping to conclusions, or reading it all wrong. I admit I’m frustrated right now. But I don’t want to lash out. I don’t even know if she reads on here anymore. But in case she reads this, I really want to know why didn’t she just say hi earlier? Why doesn’t she just say hi right now!? Why Eashel!? Why are you doing this? You don’t want to take a risk? You’re seriously going to give up? You won’t regret it? What happened to our sushi date? 🙁 There is not even a “Hi how are you?”? You won’t ask “what if” in the future?

If she doesn’t want to talk and always gets her friend to take the till every time I line up, I will never try again. But she should stop freezing up staring at me like she is in love with me while I’m working, then turning away super fast when I catch her. Yes Eashel, I can see you. Everyone can. Not just me. She should also stop all her sneaky glances at me. She should stop spying on me while I talk to Emily behind the window on that door today. She should stop eavesdropping while I talk to others. If she wants to choose mr rock climber or whoever over me, then go date him. She knows the consequences (are you sure you want to go down this path?). Just don’t torture me like this by giving me all this hope then taking it all away again. It breaks my heart and kills me.

Eashel, if you feel something for me, it’s okay to show it. This isn’t high school. Don’t hide something that is meant to shine brilliantly like a star in the night sky. You showed it earlier this year didn’t you? You also showed it last year? It’s just that I never know when or if you want me to talk to you. If you don’t communicate, I’m not going to know. No matter how much you think I’m a mind reader, I’m actually just guessing—even right now I’m guessing. I can’t read minds. If you gave me chances to talk to you, then I’m sorry I missed it. But if you smile and wave at me? I will talk to you right away.

You know what? It’s okay. In the slightest chance that you read this. I want you to know that I love you Eashel. I love you more than anything in this world. If I could turn back time, I would talk to you and hold you long before any of this could happen. I would never let you go.

Perhaps fate has caught up to us, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to change its course?—No? Regardless of what the future holds, part of me will always love you no matter where you are or who you are with. Even if I never see you again, I love you Eashel. If fate forbids us, then I cannot say forever—but there will always be infinity.💕

* * *

On Writing With What’s Closest to You

I once had someone from Germany who asked me how she could approach writing about her work on teaching that is also so close to her personal life. She had frequently spoke to me every once awhile with questions on psychoanalysis—questions that even I don’t know how to answer at times.😅 Only this time, she told me a little bit about herself and her past on how she had been diagnosed as a psychotic. I admired her courage for sharing that information with me. She is someone who is brave enough to face herself in a world where everyone is pretending to be someone else.

As many people know by now, I am someone who can write closely to my heart. I spoke about this before and it might sound intense, but I believe that words should be written with our blood, as Nietzsche might say. I think it’s much better than writing like a logical robotic machine or trying to be a “professional” and turn ourselves into a “brand”. It’s too fake for me. I almost always find it strange how everyone tries to be an influencer on social media these days. My identity, dignity, morality, and integrity cannot be bought.

Masks or not, you won’t see see me wear it on here. Sure, there might be a bit of self-fashioning at times, but I write what I write and I am who I am. Don’t like it? Nobody forced you to read Lol. Though I think AI had definitely killed a lot of my sources of traffic on this site. It’s all good.

I tend to think that when we share something intimate and vulnerable about ourselves, like my deep admiration for Eashel, for example, we also open up ourselves to others who could possibly connect with us somewhere in this world. Isn’t this not what we should all be living for? I’d like to think so.

For,
I read,
I write,
I love,
I die.