Life has been alright.

I’ve been either shit my pants type of busy, or have long weekends and take afternoon naps type of not busy. I guess you can say I work hard and nap hard. 😂 This post builds off from the previous one.

Ok byee.

Edit: Made some grammar corrections. Stop making fun of me Lol.

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Thinking of changing the layout design of this site

WordPress changed my current site template so that my home page has infinite scrolling which I think is terrible. I have no idea how to change it back where it has the next/previous post buttons at the bottom of every page. I don’t think I can, so I might look for a new template. 🤔

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Speaking of being intimidating in classrooms…

I don’t remember if I shared this story before. But I once audited a course at the university where the prof offered to buy me coffee. So we went for coffee at the school cafeteria. She was a film scholar from the University of Chicago who studied a lot of Heidegger and Kant. I remember she told me a story of a time at UChicago where she walked past a lecture theater hearing some guy talk really fast and intensively as people stormed out the lecture theater. She got curious on who the speaker was and took a peak inside, and it was Slavoj Zizek pissing people off. 😂

I asked if I could audit some of her higher level film theory courses and she straight up said no because she thinks my presence will scare her students. I laughed because I liked how blunt she was. At least she was honest LOL.

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P.S. I’m still sassy

It’s true.😅 I can be pretty cheeky sometimes. I also do a lot of stupid stuff just because it’s funny. Truth is, you don’t really know me until you see me twerk in the middle of the fairway during a disc golf round.

Whatever man. Haters gonna hate. 😂

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Where to Start Reading Jacques Derrida

If you are new to continental philosophy, I wouldn’t start with him. Derrida is the summit of a long strand of philosophy. In order to understand him, you need to have a solid understanding in the history of philosophy. Reading books like Of Grammatology or Speech and Phenomena as your first philosophy book will give you PTSD. You will likely accept defeat within the first 20 pages. The first paragraph will probably make most people go, “What did I just read?”. 😂 Derrida’s works, while very important and influential, has a reputation for being incredibly obscure and abstruse. Sometimes, I wonder if profs intentionally put some of his most difficult (but also most important) works in their syllabus to troll their students. They’re not easy.

But you have to start somewhere. So if I have to offer suggestions, it would probably be an interview in book form called, Positions which is an easy read. “Structure, Sign and Play” is also a good essay to start with because it highlights a lot of Derrida’s key ideas. If you are up for a challenge, I would recommend the essay, “Signature, Event, Context”. In all of Derrida’s works, he will always offer his readers three things: signature, event, and context. It’s a bit tricky when he talks about Edmund Husserl. But it is really good once you understand it. I would also suggest having a solid understanding on Martin Heidegger, Edmund Husserl, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau before reading Derrida. There are quite a few more philosophers who you should familiarize yourself with, but those are bare minimum.

To give you a sense of time and commitment, it took me 2 years to read Of Grammatology (OG) from front to back. In fact, I’ve close read that book so many times that it is scribbled with my annotations, where some of its pages are falling out. It was not uncommon for me to spend a few hours close reading 2-3 pages. I ended up spending another year or more reading Speech and Phenomena which is only a 150 page book. I’ve read most of Derrida’s early works and what many considers as his most important and influential texts. I only started reading secondary sources and late Derrida a few years down the road. It was a lot of hard work, sweat, and tears.

I remember I once brought my copy of OG to school for one of my classes, and my classmate was like, “Holy shit, you actually read this book?”. 😂 Reading Derrida is like being in a relationship. It requires a lot of commitment in order to be successful. There is no plan B or some easier option to read. You just have to keep going at it one step at a time!

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Explain psychoanalysis in one sentence

“Child wants mom, but dad says no.”

LOL accurate. This is probably the most famous metaphor in psychoanalysis that can be examined in so many different ways. Metaphors are also what Lacan refers as “the paternal metaphor” which is associated with “the-name-of-the-father”.

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The Canadian housing market…

..is terrible. But I think this is true in many countries. It’s the fact that many people no longer looks at housing as a place to live, but as an investment that will make them money in the future (i.e. inflation, rent to pay mortgage, etc.). This is what makes it problematic. It’s pretty much capitalism 101 where people are encouraged to flip houses, price gouge, and even produce artificial scarcity to drive up prices.

I live in Calgary where housing prices are going up like crazy because people from other overpriced provinces and cities are moving over; like Vancouver and Toronto. Meanwhile, rent has also been going up due to lack of housing, where some landlords are taking advantage of it.

But it’s not just migration and immigration that is driving up housing. There is also the shortage of building materials and workers which interferes with the construction companies that are trying to meet demand. I’m a finish carpenter who does subcontract work for one of the biggest builders in single family residential homes in the city. I can certainly tell you how much of a shit show the construction industry is, where it is full of builders trying to monopolize developing lands as they fight for the last penny. Not only does it suffer from an “image problem” like what the media likes to say, it also suffers from the exploitation of labour, tight (bad) scheduling that leads to crazy overtimes, high suicide rate, substance abuse, the inflating cost of materials; and overly competitive contract bids which leads to low wages (this is why trades unionize). But don’t get me wrong, you have potential to make good money in trades if you get enough jobs. But it’s not easy money because it often comes at the cost of working 60-70 hours a week.

Then there is also the difference in cultures where multi-generation families are discouraged which adds demand for housing (there are many reasons besides cultural, such as toxic family relationships, work, school, etc.). Actually, the nuclear family (one family, one home) wasn’t really a thing until 20th century where wealthy capitalists realized they could make a lot of money by selling people this type of life style—sort of like IKEA trying to sell you the “modern life style” so you buy their furniture. This is a good example of ideology at work that some scholars talk about.

Will these problems improve? I highly doubt it unless there are some radical changes in the housing market, construction industry, or the general political economy—even if you vote for some politician who claims will fix such issue. This is the law of our society in conjunction with capitalists and bad government policies. Though I think you can still alleviate some of these issues, but never entirely.

I’m from Hong Kong, which is (used to be?) considered as one of the most free economies in the world. While their market is in a slump right now, a 900 sq ft. apartment in HK will cost you around 20 million HKD. That is 3.5 million dollars CAD. Who do you think can afford that kind of space? Not many people. But this is what happens when the housing market is unregulated where flipping is encouraged as its price gets artificially inflated so people can make money off their properties. And the fact that Hong Kong is a small city with 7.5 million people is like adding oil to fire.

Regardless, I think our world economy is messed up. Sometimes I think the only way you can fix these issues is to blow the world up and start over like it’s some video game lmao. This reminds me of Fallout. Y’all should watch it. Season 1 was pretty good!

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Famous Cases in Psychoanalysis

Freud wrote a lot of unique cases that are still studied today. I will quickly list a few classic cases for those who are interested. The first one that comes to mind is the case study of a woman named “Dora” who was diagnosed with hysteria. This case is incredibly well known among analysts and scholars that sparked many debates throughout many different disciplines. Anna O. is another well known hysteric treated by a psychoanalyst named Joseph Breuer. As mentioned before, another well known study is the “Rat Man” who was an obsessive neurotic abused by his father and had fantasies and dreams about rats. Then there is Daniel Paul Schreber, a psychotic (schizophrenic) who Freud wrote about (I think?). There is a lesser known case by a French analyst Jean-Claude Schaetzel with a patient code named “Roger Bronzehelmet” who suffered from psychosis. Roger displayed psychotic delusions and breakdowns who had no sense of personal identity.

Freud’s analysis of his own dream called “Irma’s Injection” is also studied quite a bit. It is widely considered as the first dream analysis in the history of psychoanalysis. It had also been analyzed by a lot of renown scholars and psychoanalysts later down the road, where they tried to analyze Freud’s neurotic symptoms.

The most famous case from Lacan is probably Aimee, a woman in France who attacked a celebrity actress. Aimee’s real name is Marguerite Pantaine. She was put in mental hospital who was observed and treated by Lacan. She later became the central subject for Lacan’s PhD thesis which caused a lot of controversy.

There is also “Little Hans”, a five year old patient of Freud who was afraid of horses. Hans is a really good example of phobia and perversion (I will probably talk about this one day). If you are interested in child psychoanalysis, look into Anna Freud, the daughter of Sigmund Freud. Melanie Klein is another really influential figure in this area who influenced Jacques Lacan and John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory.

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I think I saw her the other day

She drove by. I recognized her car and silhouette. But maybe it was my imagination….Yeah, I was probably imagining things because I wish I could see her again. 🥲 You know, if she still wants to talk to me tomorrow, she still can. 🥹 At this point, it’s likely the only way that will lead to a positive outcome. I mean, all it really takes is, “Hi Bobby, how have you been?”. But like what I said, it’s a really big “if” she will talk to me, and if I will see her again.

Hence last time, I mentioned how tragic it was that we never officially met. I don’t even want to talk about it. But it’s basically because she told me she wasn’t interested some years ago, then ended up giving me a chance to talk to her near the end of COVID that I completely missed because I wasn’t expecting it. And by the time I realized, I was too late. She got really upset and mad. History has been written and there is nothing I can do about it. So I let it go. I hope she does too.

I still remember some year later just after she turned me down and never expected to be seen again (until I saw her again near end of COVID); I saw an Instagram story from someone who shared her post that I think went viral online. In it, she spoke about how she almost got kidnapped at a red light by 4 pathetic human beings while driving home at night. Luckily, her car doors were locked where she got away. I was actually so worried. 😟 But it was at that moment where I realized I still really cared about her, even when I knew I won’t see her again (which was not true; I just didn’t know yet at the time). And when I saw her again near end of COVID, I assumed she didn’t want to talk to me until she gave me a chance that I wasn’t expecting. 🥹

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Disc Golf and Vaping

One of my friend recently started vaping and became a true disc golfer. He asked if I wanted to try because I never understood all the hype around it. So I took two hits. I gotta say that stuff tastes and smells really good. Now I kind of want one. 😂 But I’m also concerned about nicotine. I know there are nicotine free vapes, but they are kind of pointless. Like, why not just breath air?

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I got a cracked windshield 😦

My windshield got rock chipped twice in a row within 10 minutes of highway driving. Thirty minutes later, a crack connected the two chips. And within the hour, 3 cracks appeared and two of them spread 5-6″ long left and right. 😭 I don’t think it can be repaired because one of the crack ends at the edge of windshield that cuts across all the sensors. I will claim insurance and get it replaced with an OEM windshield. It will probably be expensive with the HUD and sensor calibrations. Just not sure when I will get it done.

I was really annoyed when I saw the cracks. The car sits quite low when compared to 349756498765 SUVs and lifted trucks these days. So it eats a lot of rocks on the highway. Also, someone stole a valve stem cap off one of my wheel lolllllllllllll. Who does that? I ended up replacing all four caps with nicer ones.

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Updates and Future Plans for my Mk8 Golf R

The car has been driving really well. The fuel economy is quite good with a light foot at 8-10L per 100km. Though the price of 91 octane is not very good Lol. The DSG (Direct Shift Gearbox) can be laggy when its fluids are still cold, but that’s normal. You know what else I noticed? The transmission makes fart sounds when I up shift at higher RPM. The car doesn’t have a fart can, but it definitely farts. 😂 Apparently, these farts are the signature sound of dual-clutch transmissions.

I plan on driving this car until it explodes. This means I will take really good care of it. As much as I hate cleaning, I got into auto detailing from my previous car where I kept it really clean all round. It’s usually the first thing people notice when I give them a ride. I also found out that my car comes with a special face plate for the key fob that has the R badge on it. 😲 I always wondered where other 8R owners got theirs, and it turns out they came with the car buried in the trunk Lol. I paired it with a VW keychain strap that has German flag colors on it. 🇩🇪 I might attach a Wolfsburg leather badge as well.

I recently got my windows tinted. 😍 I ended up doing 30% all round and 20% on rear hatch window in Xpel XR. I have bad eyes and I was concerned 20% might be too dark at night. But after driving it for a while, I think 20% would’ve been fine. It’s too much money to redo them now. But I’m still happy with it. Depending on time of day, weather, and angle, it can look pretty dark from outside. My car windows have 80% light transparency from factory. With 30% installed on top makes the actual tint level to around 25%.

I need to get a set of winter tires this fall which is priority. I also want to get a new set of summer wheels, which is second on my list. I haven’t made up my mind on what rims I want yet. I also want to get a set of European version tail lights where it has the animated dynamic turn signals. They look way better than the North American version.

Other mods I might do will be a Stage 1 APR or Unitronic tune. But I won’t mess with it anytime soon due to warranty. I feel like the car is already fast enough for my grandpa driving skills. 👴 I might get a new exhaust if I can find one that is not too loud. I’m also considering is a new turbo intake and installing a body kit. But I’m concerned about the front splitters cracking and ground clearance; especially if I lower the car, which is probably a bad idea in terms of practicality.

I’m obviously not going to do all these mods at once. In fact, I likely won’t do most of them since they are money pits. I also just learned that the Golf is named after the Gulf Stream in German, “Golfstrom”. That’s pretty cool. 😎

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Thrill of Speed

I grew up enjoying the thrill of speed. I remember when I was around 8 where I first learned to ride a bike on training wheels, I would rip down this hill near my neighbourhood. One day, I took a turn at the bottom too fast where I fell and started crying on the middle of the road for 10 minutes. A nice lady eventually passed by where she stopped her car and walked me home to my mom. I got the biggest road rash on my knees and elbows.

I was able to go way faster down that same hill after I learned to ride a bike without training wheels. I remember I learned riding on two wheels mostly through my godsister at the time, who pushed me down a path and tried to let go of my seat without telling me. I eventually learned it by launching myself down my own driveway. I also remember she had a really big crush on my sister and how she likes to cheat when we played board games LOL.

During my teenage years, I always liked going really fast on bicycles. I was addicted to speed. I remember going down this really big descent where I was nearly the same speed as the cars on the road at around 60-70km/h. Some drivers would look at me like I’m crazy with a death wish. I had a speedometer on my bike, and the quickest I went was close to 80km/h. I bet I could hit 100 if I drafted a car or had a longer descent Lol (or maybe not; I might need a road bike for that). There is reckless driving, then there was me reckless cycling. 😂 One decent sized pothole and my life would be over. Haven’t we all been young and stupid before? I also used to be a big Japanese rock and roll guy where I would blast really loud music while biking and murder my ears. 🤘 But I grew out of it.

I think I reacquired a lot of my childhood thrills and joys with my new car. But just to be sure, I rarely speed. The fastest I’ve gone is 10 km/h above speed limit, officer. 😏

….I’m serious. 😂